


Lost and Found

by gongji



Category: Shin Sangokumusou | Dynasty Warriors, Sān guó yǎn yì | Romance of the Three Kingdoms - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Post Sima Shi death, Zhao watches Hui sleep like a weirdo, jk that's not the point of the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 02:51:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gongji/pseuds/gongji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sima Shi's death, Zhong Hui finds solace in the bed of his late lord's younger brother. </p>
<p>Told through Sima Zhao's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

There are a million things you could say about the guy in your bed right now. A million things you could say but will never say, and will never dream of saying. You watch him sleep, watch his chest rise and fall in a gentle rhythm, lips parted just slightly while he breathes (though to be honest if you couldn’t see his body move you wouldn’t even know he was breathing; you’ve already woken up once before to make sure he really was still breathing). His constantly-furrowed brow has relaxed as he drifted off – such a rare sight, at least he’s not angry even in sleep – and you reached up to softly move a stray hair away from his face. He stirs when the tips of your fingers graze his skin, you pull back immediately. Wake him now and he might leave, and that’s the last thing you want right now.

His eyelids flutter for a moment but his eyes don’t open, instead he shifts closer to you and sleepy, incoherent mumblings fall from his lips – words you can’t understand, but since you’re not really sure whether or not he’s awake you don’t ask him to repeat them. He rolls on his side to face away from you and maybe, just maybe, you can hear him whisper an incredibly soft “ _Ziyuan_ ,” and that’s all you catch. You reach over to wrap your arms around him and pull him closer to you, gently kissing the back of his neck and resting your hand over his.

He’s dreaming about your dead brother again and for some reason something about that makes you feel angry. You know Shi never treated him right, you know he never tried to. Never tried to touch him right, never tried to speak right, never tried to love him even though he so clearly, so definitely could. To know that Zhong Hui loved him anyway riles up a terrible feeling in the pit of your stomach.

You could do so much for him. You could treat him right, you’d touch him right, you’d talk to him and you could make him feel better than he’d ever felt before. You’d never make him do anything he didn’t want to do and you’d never raise your voice because you know how he can get scared even though he’ll never show it. You’d never hit him and your hands would only go where he wanted them to be. You’d love him right and you’d love him better than anyone ever did – ever _could_ – and you’d let him know that. You’d make him feel like he’s your everything. And he’d be your everything.

But you don’t love him, so you won’t be doing any of that. Instead you leave him with his dead dreams of his dead future with your dead brother while you rest your head beside his and wonder why you think you care when you know you don’t.

You never claimed to understand it.


End file.
